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Monday, October 27th, 2008
12:14 am - Mother Of All Crossovers
The Mother Of All Crossovers:

Setup: Crichton Opens a wormhole, sucks in Moya, and they end up orbiting a planet. The wormhole also happens to grab Serenity as it passes by and pulls them with.

Bridge of Serenity:
Mal rushes up behind Wash- "Wash what the hell just happened to my ship?"
Wash, fiddling with dials- "Haven't quite figured that out yet Mal."
The rest of the crew is shouting questions as the head towards the bridge.
Mal - "Well?"
Wash - "We appear to be orbiting a planet. That's all I've got right now."
Rest of crew pushes up behind Mal.
Kaylee - "Cap't, what just happened to Serenity? She's beat up all kinds of awful."
Mal - "Well Kaylee, that's what we're trying to figure out right now."
Moya floats into view. They all stare.
Jayne, pointing- "Uh Mal, what the hell kinda ship is that?"
Mal - "Wash, Kaylee? Any ideas?"
Wash tapping screen- "Nope, I'm not getting any readings at all from it."
Kaylee pushes between Mal and Wash. - "It's not like nothing I've ever seen, and I've seen just about every kinda ship there is. Doesn't seem to have any kinda engines or anything, Cap't."
Wash - "That looks like some kinda shuttle heading down to the planet."
Mal - "Alright, let's and see if they can tell us what the hell is going on."

Planet Side:
Mal, Zoe, and Jayne exit Serenity. The door opens on the transport pod and D'argo exists. As soon as Serenity's crew sees him, they draw their weapons. D'argo starts shouting, and pulls his Quilta blade. Aeryn joins him, gun drawn. She's also shouting. The group from Serenity can't understand them. Crichton pushes past D'argo and Aeryn, waving his empty hands around.
Crichton- "Wait, wait, don't anybody shoot anybody."
Mal, Zoe, and Jayne look at each other.
Jayne - "Mal, that big guys got tentacles."
Mal - "I noticed Jayne. Just hang on a minute."
Jayne - "Ah come on Mal. Let me shoot him. Something that creepy looking has got to be evil. And I can't understand a gorram thing they're saying."
Mal - "I said just hold on a second. They guy in leather pants seams to be talking normal like. Let's hear what he has to say."
Before they can do anything, the concealed Stargate Kaw-hoosh's and out tumbles SG-1. They collect themselves, see the two groups pointing guns at each other and raise their own weapons. The three groups face off Tarantino style in a circle.

Albuquerque, New Mexico:
Mary and Marshall driving along a dark road, past an abandoned building. They see a black Impala parked around the side. Mary slows down and squints at it. She pulls over. Marshall looks at her.
Marshal - "Mary?"
Mary - "Hold on a sec. There was a bulletin about a black Impala. Fugitives I think. I want to run the plates."
She makes a call. She slides the phone back into its holder and unholsters her gun."
Mary - "Yep, the plates are coming up stolen. Let's check it out."
Marshall - "And what are we checking for?"
Mary - "Two brothers. Sam and Dean Winchester. Dean is wanted for a whole list of things. Grave desecration, up to murder."
Marshall - "Grave desecration? Well, well."
They get out of the car and start searching the building. They end up outside a room. Strange noises and lights. They peer around the door and spot the two boys. The boys are standing in front of an altar. Dean's got a sawed off shotgun out, and Sam's reading from a book in a strange language.
Marshall - "That sounds like Latin."
Mary - "Whatever, let's go."
They enter the room, weapons aimed at the boys.
In unison - "Federal marshals, hands in the air."
Sam - "You don't understand, you have to let us-"
Mary - "Shut up and put your hands in the air."
Dean - "Look lady-"
Marshall - "Just do what she says. Trust me."
Bright flashes of light, cut to-

Shot starts above the face off. Pans down to eye level. A strange whooshing noise fills the silence. The Tardis materializes off to the side. The door opens, and Captain Jack jumps out, gun drawn.
C. Jack - "Hello everyone."
Rose and Mickey follow him.
Rose waves - "Hello."
The Doctor steps out, looks around and claps his hands.
Doctor - "You lot, Look at you. Think guns are gonna help?"
Jayne shrugs - "Well, yeah."
Mal - "Jayne."
The Doctor ignores them, and turns back to the Tardis. He reaches his hand out to someone inside.
Doctor - "We found her floating in the void. The Tardis put her back together. I think she belongs to some of you."
He helps Zaahn out of the Tardis. There's a loud thunder sound, and flashes of what looks like lightning from the woods nearby. The Doctor smiles - "Right on schedule."
Zaahn stumbles over to Moya's crew. There's a tearful reunion.

Three groups of people stumble out of the trees and into a clearing. The groups from Buffy and Angel recognize each other, and form up. Sam, Dean, Mary, and Marshall edge into earshot.
Buffy - "What's Faith doing here? Wasn't she in prison?"
Angel - "Yeah. We needed her for a job."
Faith - "Don't worry B, I'll be going right back after this. Which, by the way, what the hell happened?"
Wesley - Well, we were trying to stop a demon from opening a portal - "
Gunn - "Yeah, and whatever you did, obviously did not work. Or help, cos -" gestures, "look around."
Wesley - "Well, I may have mistranslated part of the incantation."
Buffy - "Why does that not surprise me?"
Giles - "Odd, we were trying to prevent a group of demons from opening the Hellmouth. I wonder if there's a connection?"
Mary, to Marshall - "Demons? Hellmouth?"
Marshall - "Shhhh."
Sam - "Huh. We were trying to kill a demon. It had some kind of . . . ritual, going on that we weren't familiar with."
Dead - "Yea, but these two geniuses showed up and interrupted us before we could stop it."
Mary glares at him. "Listen little man, how the hell were we supposed to know. You're wanted for murder. Didn't read anything about demons."
Marshall - "I think I understand the grave desecration tho."
Mary throws him a look.
Marshall - "I'm just saying."
Giles clears his throat - "Obviously there must have been some convergence. Three sets of demons performing three rituals to open various types of portals. So we all ended up here. Wherever here is. I suggest we look around, see if we can identify this place."
General nods of agreement all around. They all begin walking. Giles joins to Mary and Marshall.
Giles - "So I gather you are police officers?"
Marshall - "Federal marshals actually. We were driving home when Mary spotted these two. And now . . ."
Giles - "I must say, you're handling this rather well."
Marshall - "I've always believed there was more to the world. Turns out I was right."
Giles - "Yes, well. Still."
Dean is eyeing Fred.
Dean - "Don't I know you? We saved your son from the lake spirit."
Fred gives him a look - "I've never had a son. And I think I'd remember a lake monster."
Sam - "Lake spirit. Not a monster. And you look exactly like her."
Fred - "Nope. But I was stuck in a demon dimension for a few years."
Lorne - "Please honey, do not bring up Pylea. I'm not drunk enough to go strolling down that lane."
Mary - "What the hell are you anyway?"
Lorne - "I'm an empath demon. Sing me a few notes, and I can read your aura." Looks at her. "Then again, maybe not. I don't think I want to know anymore than I already do."
Marshall grins.
Mary - "Yea well, before we got sucked into Hell . . . You know what; it's none of your business."
Lorne - "Well don't snap my horns off. Like I said, I would kill for a sea breeze right now. And this isn't Hell."
Dean - "Look, no offense, but my brother and I usually kill demons. And none of them look like you. They're usually this big cloud of smoke that posses a person and as to be exorcised."
Wesley - "Lorne is from a demon dimension. Most of the demons we deal with have come here from different places. We don't get to do many old fashioned exorcisms. There are different breeds and clans. Some of them are completely harmless and live among humans peacefully. The most common demons we fight are vampires. Which are technically only half demons. So the other types look down on them as pitiful."
Spike - "Only if they're stuck with a soul that turns 'em all pansy and brooding."
Buffy - "Spike."
Spike - "Right. Sorry. Forgot you ladies like the whole melancholy, big forehead thing."
Faith - "That's just B's thing I prefer nice tight bod and a fondness for handcuffs."
Dean - "I like handcuffs."
Sam punches him. Dean gives him the 'what?' face.
Giles - "Well hormones aside, I think I hear voices up ahead. Human voices. Shall we go see if they can help us?"

Back at the ships:
Everyone has lowered their weapons. They are standing around, eyeing each other. They all spin around as a large group exists the forest. The Doctor gestures to them.
Doctor - "Come on, come on, we don't have all day."
Jack takes off his hat, smacks it against his leg - "Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"
Carter – “Well, this isn’t P3X775.”
Jack – “Ya think?”
Carter looks down and fiddles with an instrument. “Well, there’s no DHD, and the MALP is missing. SO no going home the easy way. Other than that, I’m gonna need a few minutes sir.”
Jack – “Fine, you go do your thing. Daniel, any suggestions?”
Daniel – “Well, we could try talking . . .”
Jack waves his hand – “Fine, you go talk.”
Daniel – Hello, I’m Daniel Jackson. We’re explores from Earth.”
Chorus of - “So are we” from the portal groups.
Daniel quirks an eyebrow.
Crichton steps forward, waving his hand. “So am I. Actually, I’ve been trying to get home. That’s what I was working on when the wormhole I opened sucked our ship in.”
Carter – “You opened a wormhole? You personally?”
Crichton – “Yea yeah, it’s a whole, long story. Just please don’t start chasing us across the galaxy.”
Carter – “Ok, well, we travel through wormholes as well. Except ours are generated by a Stargate. That big ring over there. It’s connected to other Stargates all over the galaxy.”
Crichton – “Huh. And they’re all connected by wormholes. And you were using one just before you ended up here?”
Carter – “Yep.”
Giles – “Fascinating. All three of our groups ended up here because we interfered with mystical portals. Perhaps there’s some connection?”
Carter’s eyes light up and she begins rattling off techno-babble.
Buffy – “What did she just say?”
Marshall – “She was speculating about energy convergence.”
Jack – “You understood that?”
Crichton – “Yea yeah. My wormhole, your Stargate, these portals. They must have all crossed each other. Fried their systems. Dumped us all here.”
Mal leans over to Zoe – “I don’t recall anything like what they’re talking about. Do you?”
Zoe – “No sir.”
Mal – “As long as I’m not the only one.”
Fred – “Oh my god. Can you imagine the math? Calculating theorems? . . . .” more techno babble, each of them speaking over the other in their excitement.
Jack holds up his hands. “OK OK. Everybody just shut the hell up.” He points at Serenity. “You’ve been awful quiet. No portals, no wormholes. And you look like humans, but you didn’t chime in with the ‘So are we chorus’?”
Mal – “Well, we’re all human. As far as we know. But Earth-that-was is just a story to us. Where we all started out from.”
Jayne – “Yea and we weren’t mucking about with no wormholes or portals or anything. Just flying along our merry little way. And then the ship started shaking, and we ended up here. With you folk.”
Zoe – “Sounds about right.”
Kaylee – “I thought poor Serenity was gonna shake herself apart.”
Crichton – “That would be because it’s not really designed to fly into wormholes. You got lucky.”
Kaylee – “Don’t you say nothing bad about Serenity. She’s a whole lot better than that you’re flying in.”
Jack leans over to Daniel – “What was that last bit?”
Daniel – “I think it was Chinese. Roughly translates to ‘piece of dung’. I think.”
Jack – “Ah.” Leans back, patting his gun.
D’argo – “Moya is no piece of dung.”
Mal – “Wait, you understood that? And why can we understand you now? Before it was all . . .”
Jack – “He sounded like something out of the Exorcist?” Raised eyebrow.
Mal – “Exorcist? What?”
Dean – “It was this great movie. All spinning heads, and vomit.”
Crichton – “Yes, welcome to my world.”
The Doctor looks over – “You can all understand each other now because of the Tardis.” He pats it. “My ship. It gets into your head and translates alien language.”
Rose pipes up – “Nice of him to mention that.”
The Doctor gives her a look. “Yes, well. It makes this easier.”
Giles walks around the Tardis. “Isn’t this a police call box? My God. And you all travel in this? It’s a space ship?”
Doctor – “Yep.”
Capt. Jack – “It’s bigger on the inside.” He grins
Giles – “I should hope so.”
Jack – “Alright, alright. Enough with the innuendo. How does this help us? I’m assuming we would all like to get home at some point, and I know we” points at SG-1, “are screwed. We can’t activate the Gate from this end because all our equipment ended up somewhere else.” He looks around the group. “So, anybody got any bright ideas?”
Doctor – “Well, the Tardis can get all of you home. It is a time machine as well, so I can drop you all off in the proper time and place.”
Rose – “Almost the right time and place.”
The Doctor gives her another look. - “The ships might be a bit more difficult. But no real problem.”
Jack – “Oh, well isn’t that convenient. I’m sorry, that just seems a bit too easy to me.”
Crichton – “Yeah, tell me about it. As long as nobody says, ‘I’ve got a plan.’ “
Zoe – “Nice to know we’re not the only ones with that problem, isn’t it Captain?” She smiles at Mal.
Doctor – “Well, there is a slight problem.”
Jack – “See, I knew it.”
Doctor – “I suggest we all leave here. Now. There are certain large, hostile creatures on this planet, and all this noise and energy has attracted them. So I suggest you all get back on your ship,” gestures to Serenity, “And get it out of here. We’ll collect you once we’re safe.” He turns and gestures at the transport pod. “Same with you. Off you go, we’ll meet up with you shortly.”
There are loud growls and crashing sounds from the forest.
Doctor – “Everybody else! Run! To the Tardis.”
Dean – “I knew we should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque.”
Crichton – “Yes, finally, a man who speaks my language.”

Various scenes, mostly aboard Moya:
Kaylee wanders around the ship, poking her head into everything. – “And you say she’s alive? Like, really alive?”
Zaahn – “Yes child, Moya is a living being, with thoughts, and feelings. She’s even given birth to another ship.”
Kaylee – “But how can a ship be alive? What does she do for power? And how do you fly her?”
Zaahn – “Would you like to meet Pilot? He could answer all your questions far better than I.”
Kaylee – “Oh yes please.”
Carter – “Would you mind if I joined you? I’ve seen all kinds of alien technology, but this ship . . . it’s incredible.”
Zaahn – “Of course, right this way.”
Kaylee – “Simon, why don’t you and River come with?”
Simon, trying to distract River from a DRD, - “Alright, yes. Come on River.” He herds her after them.
Zaahn studies River puzzled and concerned.
Buffy – “Hey Dawnie, why don’t you go with them? How often do you get to met new and exciting aliens?”
Dawn rolls her eyes and sighs – “You just want me out of the way while you talk about the big bad. Just say it.”
Buffy – “I want you out of the way. Now go. Please.”
Anya pipes up – “And don’t steal anything.”
Dawn – “Fine.”
Crichton – “Oh yea, and be careful of Rygel. Don’t get to close.”
Dean – “Rygel?”
Crichton – “The little alien on the throne-sled.”
Dean – “The Yoda-looking one?”
Crichton – ‘Yea, he’s might look like Yoda, but no, trust me. Personality wise, exact opposite.”
Dean – “Kinda like an ‘anti-Yoda’ then?”
Crichton – “Yep. Anyway, like I said, be careful. He likes to bite, he likes to vomit, and oh yea, he farts helium.”
Jack – “Helium you say?”
Crichton – “Yep. When he’s stressed. You’ll be going along, arguing your way through another crisis, then bam. All of a sudden, you sound like Mickey Mouse.”
Dawn – “Ew.”
River – “Yes, ew. Helium. No life-form can fart helium. There is no combination of chemicals that when combined could break down food in the stomach without . . .”
Simon – “Yes River, let’s go look at the Pilot.” Pulls her further down the hall.

Groups return from Pilot’s den. Kaylee stayed down there. The groups split up as follows:
Jack, Crichton, Mal, Buffy, and Angel
Teal’c, D’argo, Aeryn, Jayne, Zoe, Faith, Gunn, Mary, Dean, and Capt. Jack with weapons.
Carter, Sikozu, Willow, and Fred
Daniel, Giles, Wesley, Sam, and Marshall
Zaahn, Stark, and Shepherd Book
Xander and Wash
Rygel, Anya, and Cordelia
Scorpius, Spike, and the Doctor, all in leather, leaning against a wall watching the humans.
Lorne asks about refreshments. Chiana takes him, Tara, Dawn, Simon, River, Rose, and Innara to the kitchen, where they dig up what they can.

Tara hands Sam a plate and a glass. He smiles up at her, then pauses, and frowns.
Sam – “You look a lot like a vampire I met.”
Tara – “Me? Vamp? No, not me.” She looks at Spike. “That would be him,” looks at Angel, “And him.”
Sam – “Wait, they’re vampires? Any they’re with you?”
Spike – “Not by choice. I’ve got this damn chip in my head controlling me.”
Xander – “Spike’s been neutered.”
Crichton – “Does it cause hallucinations?”
Spike – “No, just keeps me from hurting humans. I can only kill demons.”
Crichton – “I win.”
Spike – “What do you mean you win? You have a chip in your head?”
Crichton – “Yep. Scorpy over that put it in my head. Wanted the wormholes knowledge the Ancients put in there.”
Daniel – “Ancients? You’ve met the Ancients?”
Crichton – “Yep.”
Daniel – “Interesting.”
Crichton “Yea. Anyway, the chip started talking to me. Crazy hallucinations of Scorpius. And he kept trying to smoke in my head. And then for a while, it took me over. Made me kill Aeryn.”
Buffy perks up – “You died?”
Aeryn – “Yes, Zahn brought me back.”
Buffy – “I’ve died twice.”
Daniel and Dean both chuckle. Then stop and look at each other.
Dean – “How many times?”
Daniel – “I don’t know. And there were at least two Ascensions in there. So I have to wonder, does that really count as a death?”
Dean – “Okay, but did you go to Hell?”
Angel – “Yes. Well, a hell dimension, which I assume is the same. Fire, torture, you know.”
Dean nods agreement.
Angel – “Buffy had to kill me. I’d turned evil.”
Sam – “Oh, you’d turned into a vampire?”
Angel – “No, I was already a vampire. But I’d turned evil –“
Cordelia interrupts – “Vampire with a soul, cursed to suffer an eternity of torment for his sins. Until he had one moment of true happiness. Then he lost his soul and reverted to Mr. Evil. It was horrible. Willow had to do this spell to keep him from getting into my car.”
Sam – “So you had a moment of true happiness. What causes that, you know, so we can avoid it.”
Cordelia – “As long as he and Buffy don’t have sex, we should be fine.”
Giles clears his throat. “Can we please focus on the problem at hand?”

Marshall, Giles, And Daniel are involved in some “deep” discussion.
Marshall pauses mid sentence – “Excuse me. Just a moment.” He walks over to the weapons group. Mary has a gun shoved under Jayne’s chin.
Marshall – “Mary, don’t do that.” He puts his hand on the gun, and lowers it. Raises an eyebrow at Mary.
Mary – “You did not hear what he just suggested I do with -“
Marshall – “I’m sure it was highly inappropriate. But we’ve discussed this. You can’t shoot men because they are pigs.”
Zoe looks up – “She can shoot him if she wants. I’ve been tempted myself more than a few times.”
Jayne – “Zoe!”
Zoe – “It’s true.” She sighs. “Captain?”
Mal and Capt. Jack look over.
Zoe – “Sorry. Mal, Jayne’s making lewd suggestions again.”
Mal – “Jayne, I’d be careful. One of these lovely ladies may decide you look better all ventilated. And I can’t say that I don’t agree.”
Jayne – “Mal, that’s not fair. Look at all of ‘em.”
Aeryn. “Oh, please, let me shoot him.”
Jayne grumbles and goes back to cleaning weapons. Marshall smiles and returns to his table.
Marshall – “Now, where were we?” Oh yes. . . “

Zaahn – “Simon, your sister. There’s something.”
Simon – “Yes, I know. Well I don’t really. That’s the problem.”
Zaahn – “Excuse me?”
Simon – “She was taken and experimented on. They’ve altered her brain, and there really isn’t anything I can do to fix it.”
Zaahn – “Perhaps I can do something to help.”
River walks up to Spike, Scorpious, and the Doctor and just looks at them. Spike gets uncomfortable and leaves.
Scorpious circles her a few times – “There’s something. . . I wonder.”
River and the Doctor just stare at each other.
Doctor – “You poor thing.” He reaches out to touch her hair, but Simon rushes over and snatches her away.
Simon – “Come with me River. This lady thinks she might be able to help you.”
Doctor, quiet, more to himself – “Nobody can help her.”

Aeryn to Mary – “You have a room full of bullets?”
Mary – Well . . .”
Aeryn turns to Crichton – “John, why don’t I have a room full of ammunition?”
Crichton – “Because Aeryn.”
Aeryn – “Because why?”
Crichton – “Just because. When people aren’t trying to kill us, we can talk about this.”
Aeryn – “When are people not trying to kill us? That is exactly why I need a room full of ammunition.”
Dean – “Tell me about it.” Chiana walks past. He turns to watch. Sam frowns and leans over Dean’s shoulder.
Sam – “Dude, what are you thinking? She’s gray. She’s an alien.”
Dean – “I know man, but look at her. She’s is hot. And that bendy thing she does. . .” He trails off.
Sam shakes his head and sighs. “Whatever.”
Capt. Jack – “Just because she’s an alien, doesn’t mean you’re not . . . compatible.” He grins.
Dean – “Really?”
Capt. Jack – “Oh yes.”
The Doctor – “Stop.”
Capt. Jack – “What, we were just talking. I was clearing up some questions he had about alien life forms.”
Doctor – “Yes, I know. Just stop.”
Capt. Jack – “Yes sir.”

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Monday, July 7th, 2008
8:55 am - just thought i'd reappear briefly
just bored, and thought i'd drop in.  nothing new... current imaginary boyfriend....still my sexy cylon...

current mood: bored

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Wednesday, June 12th, 2002
4:13 pm - i should stop naming them after characters that die
so nicholas is out of commision. he didn't actually die, but that was because i knew better than to drive him anymore. i had mine final moments with him. sat out in the parking lot of babker's square, smoked my first clove of the summer, and listened to selections of Tom Waits Mule Variations. then took him home and put him to bed. i'm hoping he can be fixed, really hoping. of all my cars, he's been my favorite. it was just about a year ago that Lucrieta was totaled. this time wasn't nearly as traumatic. i had time to prepare myself. so i'll have a swig of vodka in his honor, and hope.

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Friday, September 7th, 2001
3:30 pm - meep meep
so jut's actually in a happy mood inventory's almost over. i got past the year mark of deegan dumping me, and i'm still here. relatively sane. i've renewed old friendships, made new ones. i've met and briefly talked to bruce cambell and spalding gray. i've got a job i don't hate, and a new key. i've found the third leg of my gunslinger trilogy. not too bad for a year. i'm sure something will happen soon to get me out of whack again, but for now, i'm in a good place. i've ofund a place to stand for now.

current mood: happy

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Thursday, August 23rd, 2001
11:45 pm - junior year revisted
so i found another key. it was there on the floor at work when i climbed down off a ladder.
then the boy shows up at coffee in orange converse hightops.

current mood: amused

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Friday, August 17th, 2001
6:59 pm -
i was finally able to get on here, and catch up on friend's journal reading.
judy, as always, your writing brings me to tears. it's simply beautiful.
i'm going to wish you a happy birthday now, since i don't know that'll i'll be able to get ahold of you on the day.

so, if a guy bets you a dollar that you can't hold a handful of ice covered in salt in your hand for a minute, don't try and impress him by doing it.or if you feel so inclined to show off how hard core you are, at least do it with your bad hand, or be prepared to spend the next few days wincing.

Answer me this, WHY THE FUCK AM I READING THIS BOOK? (House of leaves) i would have made an utter fool of myself just now if someone had tapped me on the shoulder or something. decesion made, i'm only reading this in public.
i have to keep stopping. always after johnny's passages. they are very disturbing, unsettling. They grab me. But i'm sitting here, reading, and yawning, eyes watering. sitting here, waiting for something, the small burns on my hand tingling and prickling. waiting, always waiting for something. a phone call, something to snap me back awake again. maybe that monster lurking just at the edge of my vision. knowing if i don't do something soon, i'm just going to fade away.

being complacent is getting me no where. it's been a year now since my life fell apart, and i've been hiding. sitting and licking my wounds, feeling sorry for myself. letting myself feel sorry for myself. i'm reverting back to the way i was in high school. and i don't like that. letting everything i've learned the last seven years get buried. get lost and wasted. must do something.

current mood: pensive

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Wednesday, June 27th, 2001
4:10 pm - memorial
i'm so tired. i'm tired of losing things. all the little possesions that remind you of a special time, or a special person. the stuff you loan out and never get back. the little things you leave behind when you break up with someone. or in this case, the big something you lose. the verdict came in from my insurance compant. the car was totaled. she got hauled away this morning.
lucretia's gone. my Lucky is gone. i loved that car. she was supposed to be with me for years. lucky number three. we had a deal. i'd take care of her, she wouldn't break down. she kept her end of the deal, but i let her down. wasn't really paying attention a week ago tuesday driving home. looking behind me, thiking about other things, so i didn't see the black car in the intersection until too late. so now she gets hauled away to salvage, and i have to find a new car. but she was my baby. i get a few bruises, and she gets totaled. even at the end, she took care of me. i'll think of her whenever i hear that song, and wish i'd taken at least one picture of her. "Lucretia, my reflection, dance the ghost with me."

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Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
1:24 pm - breathing...
i just want to go to sleep and not wake up.....
oh well....

anyway. i've currently got a lot of time on my hands to read. i haven't felt much like going out and having adventures since my minor car accident. i'm paranoid something will happen to the rental car and i'll have to deal with that. i'm also just not in much of a mood to be social. i'd rather just curl up with a good book or two, of which i've got a few right now.
i just finished up neil gaiman's American gods, which was excellent. even more immersion in mythology
so to counteract that, i'm currently read bruce cambell's biography "if chins could kill" which is an utter riot. much snicker and coughing to cover laughter.
and the new transmet graphic novel.
so judy...did my e-mail to you about the spaulding gray thing get eaten, or are you just really busy?


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Thursday, June 7th, 2001
5:24 pm - ow ow
it hurts. and i'm, not sure if i'm complaining. i've just started reaing my first issues of johnny the homicidal maniac comic....
and then i'm switching over to priestess of avalon, and .... then over to drawing yet another pic of my priest. yes i know, obsessive i am...but how can i resist the crumpled cigarette, the cross punisher...how oh how can i resist those action hips... did i actually just write that?! good gods i need to get out of my room tonight before ...something.....

slang for today:
blink blink - what was that definition again? i was busy thinking about pens running out of ink.

current mood: frazzled

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Tuesday, June 5th, 2001
1:33 pm - misty
i don't know where i went in my sleep last night, i woke up this morn and i could remeber being over at michelle's with her and chris and jasmine, all warm and relaxed after using the hot tub, everyone quiet and peaceful, me sketching away at my favorit priewst;but that seems likes weeks ago instead of hours. i drove to work in the afternoon, but i couldn't tell what time it was. no sun, light mist covering everything. nothing seemed real. a five hour shift that just passed in a fog. then home and back into the Fionavar Tapestry which just pulled me even farther out of this world.

current mood: insubstantial

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Monday, June 4th, 2001
5:42 pm - deep thoughts...okay, not so deep
so i'm sitting here, smoking one of my eternal cigarettes, and cursing judy for showing me this thing. it's amazing to me. to be able to read other people's entries, see how open they are. i'm hoping i can do that. i'm so shut off from everything. it's so hard for me to open up. maybe this will help. or maybe it won't, who knows. but it's such a neat idea.
so i'll spend way too much time sitting in front of this machine, blathering about nothing, wishing i had a laptop so i could write entries from where ever i happen to be when the notion strikes me. wandering monologues about whatever crazy thoughts are curretnly circling throu my head at the time.
like right now, sitting here waiting for the phone to ring so i can go out for coffee and celebrate chris's birthday. must make sure i actually remeber the pocky this time. otherwise my mother will eat it all and my 2.5 will have been lost. wishing it would just get a little warmer so i don't wake up shivering ever morning. hoping my stomach will NOT turn into a clenched mass tonight, and i don't end up running to the bathroom again because i've poued way too much coffe into it and had to many smokey treats in a desperate attempt to conceal my nerves.

current mood: anxious

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3:30 pm - first entry....pondering.....
so i like the ....alot. so we were out for coffee last night and my friend was teasing me because i was drooling over pretty bishonen in a comic book. "they're not real, get over it." he'd say.
to which i'd respond, as i usually do, "maybe not, but they're easier to deal with than real boys."

todays slang term:
bishonen - beautiful boy

current mood: tired

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